A New Direction

When I pray, do I view God as a loving Father, or a dad who loves me when I'm good, but ashamed of me when I'm bad? This blog is going to be raw.  I cried buckets of tears this morning.  I am not ashamed to say God and I wrestled.  Ok, I wrestled, he sat and listened, waiting for me to calm down so he could hold me and let me know he loves me. I thought I felt free to come to my father with anything, at any time.  I have found I can't say "daddy" when I pray.  Why?  Because I grew up without a daddy.  I never had an example of a dad when I was a little girl.  My dad was absent.  Forgetful.  I felt dismissed.  Forgotten.  Forgettable. I have lived most of my life feeling like no one would ever remember me if they crossed my path.  I have felt that from God at times.  I try to live a life that is Godly.  I try to do the right thing and yet my blessings are held away from me.   I don't live my lif...

We take for granted what Christ did for us. We take for granted who Christ is to us. He was perfect.  Holy.  Seamless.  Pure. He went to the cross wearing a seamless garment of perfection.  At the cross he was stripped of that garment and clothed with our wardrobe of indignity.  The indignity of our sin. This perfect, spotless man became all that we are - liars, cheaters, murderers, thieves. He walked through the streets carrying a cross he didn't deserve so that we could be free from it.  He did all this and we take what He did for granted.  We squander the gift.  We do what WE want to do and forget the sacrifice that was made to give us that freedom. Yesterday was Veterans Day.  A day we celebrate all who fought and died for our freedom.  We honor those men and women publicly.  We uphold them and thank them for their service to us and our country.  Yet, the man who died on a cross in our place we fail to hon...

God's hands are powerful.  They created the earth and all that is in it. They parted the red sea. They furrowed truth into the tablets.  With a wave of his hands, he toppled the tower of Babel. From his hands flew the locusts that plagued Egypt. From his hands he sent the ravens that fed Elijah. The hand of God is a mighty hand.  So, why did he lay on the cross, palms open, and let the nails be driven into his wrists?  Why didn't he clench his fist, flex his bicep and push the nail and the hammer and the guard away?  He could you know.  The same hand that did all of the above is the same hand that stretched out on a wooden beam to be nailed down. Why didn't Jesus resist?  We always reply "Because He loved us".  Yes, that's true, but only partially true.  In my morning reading today I realized that Jesus didn't resist because between the wood and his hand was was a list.  A list of my flaws, my lies, my sins, my lusts,...