A New Direction

I woke up at 1:30 this morning and couldn't get back to sleep.  My  mind was racing and my thoughts were all over the place.  I was told recently some things that I didn't want to hear.  The words broke my heart and saddened me. In the early morning hours I realized I finally knew what Jesus feels when we say similar things to him. I got this.  I can do this on my own. I don't need you. I can make my own decisions. I KNOW we do that to God.  We treat him like a Jeanie in a bottle.  We sit him on a shelf and tell Him we will call on him only when we need something, otherwise, we GOT THIS.   We want to forge our own path.  We want to do our own thing.  Make our own choices.  But, if we need something, that's when we call on Him, expecting him to be there ready to hand out what we need. Being a parent is hard.  You raise them up for years to have them one day leave and say they don't need you any more.  That...

If you know me well, you know that I journal almost every day.  I buy a blank journal every year.   The blank pages left are few.  Another year is winding down. Another year of being single. Another year of writing (or not writing) Another year of financial sameness and struggles A year of loss - 2 very special people in my life went to be with the Lord. A year of realizing who your friends truly are (or aren't) A year of realizing how very important family is. A year of helping others and thinking less of myself Its also a year of growing spiritually, of growing closer to people, of learning more about ME. It was a year of trusting God in my struggles and seeing Him remain faithful to me. It was a year of Him sustaining me. His grace is a sustaining grace.  His grace is enough.  Jesus is enough.   He gives me just enough grace to get through each moment.  It sustains me.  It meets me where I'm at. ...

You can't be good enough. You can't be nice enough. You can't do enough good things for others. You can't claim to believe there is a God - because even Satan believes there is a God. The only way to eternal life is thru Jesus.  He's IT.... You must confess with your mouth that Jesus is Christ, son of the living God.  You must believe He is Lord.  You must repent of your sin and you will be saved. He is the only way to Heaven and eternal life.  What are you waiting for?  Is your life of sin so much fun that you just can't give it up?  Colossians 3:5 says "Put to death whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust evil desires and greed"... Are those things so fulfilling and fun that you are willing to risk eternity to keep them?  Is your life so full of promise and hope living YOUR way that you are willing to turn your back on a life of love in Jesus?  Many are afraid that to become a Christian they wi...

Sunday night I took my son to his first Rock concert.  Tesla.  Styx.  Def Leppard. It was awesome.  The music was loud, the energy was electric.  Fans were screaming, dancing, raising their hands in the air.  No one cared what they looked like - they were "worshiping" with the music.  I too enjoyed the music, but at one point I found myself looking around and thinking some different thoughts. 2 Samuel 6:14  And David danced before the Lord with all his might... Psalm 149:3  Let them praise his name with dancing... To the many concert goers, these men singing these songs are Gods.  They love them.  They worship them.  They follow them and their music.  They pay lots of money to hear their songs and go to their concerts.  We don't worship God with our money like we should. We don't give him the honor and praise he deserves.   I wonder why don't we worship God with the same fervor I witnessed at this rock...

Life is full of ... Fear of the future Fear of the unknown Fear of failure Life is full of ... Mistakes we've made Chances we missed Opportunities passed up Do you live in Fear or do you live in Regret? A lot has happened this summer.  I've reconnected with old friends, made new friends, put my heart on the line and then retreated in hurt and disappointment.  I've been ridiculed and hated, I've been supported and loved. Do I live in fear?  or do I live with regret?  Fear tells me I will never go anywhere.  Fear tells me I will never be loved.  Fear tells me I'm not good enough to do what God is calling me to do. Regret reminds me of my failures.  Regret reminds me that I'm not moving forward but standing still.  Regret is at the door when I am too fearful to take the next step and then I see what I've missed. What can I do to turn this cycle of fear and regret around?  I turn to the one who makes all things new.  ...

Many things happen in our life to bring us grief. Loss of a loved one. Loss of a pet. Loss of a relationship. Loss of hope. Grief presents itself in many ways.  But it feels the same.  Its a pain in your chest, a knot in your stomach, a sadness in our eyes, a light that has gone out in our soul.    2 Cor. 12:9 states  “ My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. At some  point in everyone's life, we experience grief.  I'm on the cusp of it myself.  Tomorrow afternoon I will have to put my beloved Sandy girl, my Corgi of 14 years, into my car and take her to end her life.  How will I be able to do that?  How can I put her in my car knowing it will be the last time?? I've been crying today, and I know tomorrow I will be a mess emotionally.  The grief has already started for me...

Have you ever felt like the person in this picture? You did something that you regret and there is nothing you can do to take it back.  A do-over would be perfect but instead you put your head in your hands and hide your shame and embarrassment.   If you are a follower of Christ, this is what sin should do to you.  It should crumple you.  It should make your heart hurt to know that you disappointed your father in heaven.  You disappointed yourself.  I've been here.  Many times in my life.  I've done things I'm not proud of and the thought of anyone ever finding out terrifies me.  Just like hiding behind hands, we hide behind masks.  If we let people see that we are broken and sinful, what would they think of us? David was a shepherd, a king, an adulterer, a murderer.  Don't you think he probably, at one point or another, experienced regret?  In Psalm 25:11 he writes "For the sake of your name Lord, forgive m...

I woke up Saturday morning and sat down with my first cup of coffee.  It was nice enough outside to sit on the porch, which is my favorite place to be. I look around and see new life springing up all around me.  Things that were dead a few months ago are growing and flourishing. I hear the sound of new life in the singing of the morning birds. I feel a cleansing breath as I inhale the air blowing through the trees. God takes what is old and broken and makes it new.  He puts it back together.   I am quickly transported to a time in my life when I thought I had it all.  I was in love, I was as healthy as I'd ever been, life seemed great.  The problem with that is, it was an illusion.  I was living in sin and God loves us enough to reveal that sin and gives us the opportunity to turn from it.  Repentance. That was probably the most painful time of my life.  My heart was shattered, my life was crumbling, and I began to build walls a...

So many people are looking for love... looking for someone to fill the empty hole in their heart.  To make them feel loved.  I was thinking about this during my "porch" time this morning and this old country song by Johnny Lee popped in my head.  I uploaded the song with lyrics so you can see what he's saying.   One line stood out to me  "You came knocking on my hearts door, you're everything I've been looking for" Jesus says "Behold, I stand at the door and knock.  If ANYONE hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in..." Rev 3:20 Jesus IS LOVE.   He is the only person who can fill that void in your life.  That empty hole.   But so many people go from relationship to relationship hoping to find that love that will take away the emptiness, the pain, the loneliness, the fear.  The only true that will take away the hurt and pain is the love of Jesus. I have been single for 13 years. Yes, I've dated in thos...

My beautiful purpose.  Knowing what God can and will do through me.  What a concept!! I have a purpose.  God CAN use me. God WILL use me. He knows my weaknesses and He can use them for His glory. He knows my greatest fears and He will stand beside me and make me courageous. God can TRANSFORM me if I allow Him to. I believe and I am learning to walk in this truth - its time for women to rise up - not with a chip on their shoulder, but with humility, strength, purpose, conviction and bold perseverance, to be the women God has called us to be. We are not      ....bullied by our fears     ....insecure      ....chronically petty and jealous Nothing is more BEAUTIFUL than a confident woman.  A strong, humble, God-fearing woman who knows WHOSE she is and WHO she is. Who am I? I am the daughter of the most High God.  I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  I am his beloved.  I am...

Walking. Taking steps. Its an action we do every day yet we don't really think about it.  Its also something many of us don't do enough of.  My son sent me a text this week and said "Mom, download the Fitbit app and add me as a friend."  Ok, but I don't have a fitbit.  "That's ok, if you carry your phone it will still measure your steps". So, I did, and he challenged me with a daily goal of 10,000 steps a day.  Not a big deal.  WRONG!  This opened my eyes to how sedentary my life really is.  I sit at a desk all day at work, sit in a car to a from work, then I come home, do a few chores and then I SIT!  WOW....what an eye opener! So, its become a challenge to daily reach my step goal.  Which means I must get up and exercise in the morning and in the evening.  Move, move, move!!  Yesterday morning, as I was out in the early morning fog, I was walking, stepping, moving...and praying.  God asks us to move.  ...

  I've been reading on prayer.  Why pray if God already knows what is going to happen?  Does prayer change God or does it change me?  Does it bring my will more in line with His or am I praying to change His will? In my struggles to understand prayer more, I have come across one complete truth - God's love.  God doesn't withhold things from us because he loves us less.  He Loves us completely and His love will never fail.  Things we pray for may not be in His will.  He may allow hard times in order to teach us to lean into Him more.   Truth - bad things happen.  We live in a fallen world.   Truth - God loves us.  His love will never fail. When we don't get the answers or results we want, we think God loves us less than others.  We think our sin is keeping us from His blessings or from His favor.  If you read the Bible you will see that God used BROKEN, messed up people to carry out his ministry....

Psalm 23:6 (msg)  "Your beauty and love chase after me every day of my life" Wow!!  That verse in that version stood out to me today.  We all know Psalm 23 - The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want...in a way it has become the go to Christian verse quoted when someone is going through a hard time, is experiencing difficult circumstances and we don't know what else to say.  We even pray it ourselves.  But, reading it in a new context, in a different version of the Bible, it shows me how much God CHASES after ME! Yes - he chases me.  What an awesome feeling.  He has made a way for me of soft bedding and abundant resources - he feeds me and gives me living water "You find me quiet pools to drink from".  He is at my side, guiding and directing my steps, even when the way seems dark. When I start to stray, he gently pulls me back with is Shepherd's crook.  When my head hangs in shame or in sadness, he lifts me up and fills my cup wi...

I've been in a situation where I've had to deal with difficult relationships.   We all go through it at one point or another in our lives. As parents, we want the best for our kids.  We want them to have healthy relationships that build them up, that encourage them, that are positive and caring.  But sometimes they allow people into their lives that are toxic.   This toxicity causes problems with parents, with siblings, with the other friends they have.  It brings them down and turns them into someone we don't even recognize. I'm seeing it happen  - evil corrupts good more often than good changes evil.  Lies are told, secrets are kept.  Nothing about the relationship is healthy.  What, as parents, do we do?  How  do we get our youth to see what we see? How do we protect them from the inevitable hurt we see coming?   I don't have that answer.  I pray.  A lot.  I counsel and say the hard stuff ...

Its about 6 weeks into the new year.  How are those New Years Resolutions coming?  Have you failed at them already?  or have you stuck to it so far? Why do we make resolutions?  Its because we are in the pursuit of happiness. If I could just lose 50 pounds, then I would be happy. If I could get a new job, then I would be happy. If I could find my soul mate, then I would be happy. If I had more money,  then I would be happy. All of those things are circumstantial.  All If...then statements usually are.  But, do we have to live our lives waiting for our circumstances to change so we can be happy?  Or can we be happy IN SPITE of our circumstances? Tying our security and happiness to our circumstances sets us up for failure, but tying our security, joy and identity to God's love for us is an anchor we can cling to no matter what our circumstances say. God says in His word: Stacie is a forgiven child of God (Rom 3:24) Stacie is a...