A New Direction

Another year is drawing to a close.  Good and bad.  Happy and sad.  Joy and sorrow.  Laughter and pain.  I believe it does us all well to reflect back on all that has happened.  Learn from our mistakes so we can grow and not make them again.  See what good happened and where God worked for us.  Was it a year you wish had never happened?  Was it a year you were thankful for? What can you do differently than last year to grow closer to God and walk in the path He has for you? Lots of questions - few answers.  Its hard sometimes, isn't it, to look back at what transpired in the last year?  Some of us will be happy with how our lives have turned out so far.  Others of us will be glad this year is closing and a new one is beginning.  Its like reading a really long book and you just want this chapter to end! You are ready to turn the page and see if there is something good happening for the main character in the story - YO...

I was watching a movie yesterday and the characters were window dressers at a popular department store.  They each had a window and competed to see whose window was better. At one point in the movie, the woman looked to her co-worker and said "I'm like a window - a facade.  I create perfect images for others to admire".  Wow!  I quickly jotted that down because it is so true of so many of us. We think we are expected to look a certain way, behave a certain way, have the right family, home, drive a certain car.  What we are doing in our lives is creating a Facade that we can never measure up to.  We buy the latest styles and dress ourselves to match what everyone else is wearing.  We go into debt to have the perfect house so that it appears we have it all.  We drive certain cars because they look better than what we can truly afford.   Have you ever invited someone to your house and then told your family "Don't talk about this...", "...

Words have power.  Meaning.  Depth.  Can elicit change. I have been thinking about my one word.  What word do I want to live by in the coming year?  What word describes who I want to be?  I'm tired of making New Years Resolutions...its the same old thing year after year.  We generally resolve to do better on what we didn't do last year.  Lose weight, save money, be a better husband/wife/friend, be a better parent, etc.  Don't you get a knot in your stomach, a grumbling in your soul, when someone says "What's your New Years Resolution?".  I do.  Because they tend to get forgotten and become unreachable. So, this year I have decided that instead of setting myself up for failure by making a list of resolutions I won't keep, I will choose ONE WORD to live my life by this year.  One word that will change my outlook on life, on me, and on those around me.  One word that will give me focus and direction in my walk with the ...

It happens.  The rains come.  Sometimes its a gentle rain and you are Calm. Peaceful. Soothed even.  But then the storms come.  When buckets of rain falls on your head and you feel like you are going to drown.  Nothing is going right. Things are falling apart and you feel like if God doesn't stop it soon, you are going to drown.   You wonder why God is sending these storms in your life and you have two choices:  you can drown in them or you can learn from them. Drowning in them - doesn't sound like a good choice, but it happens.  We get discouraged, downtrodden, lose hope and we can no longer lift our heads.  We feel as if this dark time will never end, that we will never see the sun shine on us again.   I'm sure you've been there - in the loss of a child, in the flood of a home, in the depth of despair when you don't know where the next meal will come from to feed your family, when you can't find a job after weeks or ev...

I've been a little lost these last few days...not sure what to write, not sure what I'm feeling or even what I'm learning.  Its a crazy time of year, 6 days before Christmas.  There are cookies to bake, presents to wrap, cleaning to do to get ready for the big day!  As I was reading a bible study this morning I came upon the picture above.  Fitting for the season.  We all await the day we can open the gifts others have chosen for us.  Yet the greatest gift I feel I have received is Gods gift of Grace.   Grace is given to us freely and we are meant to give it away as freely as we receive it.  See, God gives each of  his children SPECIFIC gifts.  During this season of the year, are you "giving away" your gifts the way God intended? Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms. 1 Peter 4:10   Whether it’s serving or teaching, encouraging or l...

 I've recently experienced some of the above phrases...from myself and from someone I love who feels this way.  It really spoke to my heart that this is something that I need freedom from and I want to help someone else along the way.    I think we all at one point or another do something in our lives that makes us feel as if we are "Not good enough", "Not pretty enough" or "Not smart enough".  We all sin and not one of us is perfect, yet we tend to compare ourselves to others who seem to have it all together on the OUTSIDE.   We carry what we've done around with us - we wear it like an overcoat and it weighs us down.  We compare ourselves to others without knowing what their story is.  We all sin - no one sin is greater than another - yet we look at our sin and think that we must wear this coat of shame even though God has offered us a cloak of righteousness.   Why do we listen to the father of lies instead of the Giver ...

John 4:1-42 Jesus wanted a drink.  He was tired and hot and thirsty so he went to the well to get a drink.  And then she showed up.  You know her, the woman at the well.  The woman who had been married 5 times and who was now with another man.  The woman who was never satisfied so she kept doing the same thing over and over, hoping to find something to quench her thirst for love, for acceptance.  You may know someone like that - it may be you.  You keep working longer hours to find that satisfaction in your job, or your bank account.  You work out longer and harder to look the way the world expects you to look.  You keep dating the wrong guy or the wrong woman because no one seems to fill that dry spot in your heart. Meet the woman at the well. She went later in the day, after all the other women went to the well.  This way she wouldn't be judged, or pushed aside. She shows up and there is a man there - and he asks her for a drin...

I sat down this morning, grabbed my notebook and pen and started writing.  This idea popped into my head about walls.  We all build them in our lives - around our heart.  I was going to write all that God was showing me about the different walls I've put up in my life and about 4 pages later I realized that there is SOOOO much more I could say about each one - and so many others I didn't mention.  So, I'm gonna save what he showed me this morning, build on it and I will share it later.  Because what He showed me is so important that it deserves more than just a morning blog.  See, God told me about a year and a half ago that I needed to tell my story.  Well, I laughed.  Seriously.  In church he said "Tell your story" and I smiled and giggled.  Right, ok God, sure.  To whom do you want me to tell and how do you expect me to do this.  I'm JUST a mom, JUST a paralegal,  JUST a nobody from small town Indiana.  So, ...

We've all read the story of Joseph.  His brothers sold him to the Ishmaelites who in turn sold him to Potiphar.  He was treated like dirt by his brothers, but God has other plans for Joseph.  Plans to prosper him.  Sounds like a favorite verse of mine - Jeremiah 29:11.   Well, back to Joseph.  Potiphar had a wife who was a BAD girl!!  Mrs. P had an issue with lust.  She saw something she wanted, and she went after it.  Know anyone like that in your life?   Someone who will do whatever it takes to get what they want, regardless of the rules?  Well, Mrs. P thought Joseph was good looking and she wanted him!  She noticed how handsome and well-built he was and she was tempted.  Ah, there's that theme again.  Eve was tempted and now Mrs. P.  Eve wanted that juicy fruit and Mrs. P wanted Joseph.  In Genesis 39:7 she says to Joseph "Come to bed with me!"  What did Joesph do?  He refu...

I started an online Bible study this morning.  It is written by Liz Curtis Higgs  called "The Bad Girls of the Bible"...I LOVE that title!!!  Makes me feel "less" bad about myself knowing that there are bad girls in the Bible!! haha  Well, the very first bad girl was Eve. Yep, you read that right - Eve.  Eve had it made - handsome husband, free food, beautiful home, freedom to roam in the Garden.  But she gave it all away because of one word - PRIDE.   When she was being tempted by the serpent, she didn't call on on God to help her, she didn't hide in God's word and God's shadow.  No, she listened.  Her downfall wasn't her appetite for the fruit - it was her PRIDE.  Her pride that she could handle it on her own.  Sound familiar?  Sound like something you may have done once or twice or a hundred times over in your life?  Been faced with a temptation, an opportunity to sin - an opportunity to do something that y...

As I was driving into work this morning, I was listening to the radio and the song by Laura Story "I Can Just Be Me" came on.  I've heard it before, but today I really listened to the lyrics and they really spoke to me.  For most of my life I've tried to be the person people would accept.  When as a little girl your daddy leaves you, it can tear something down deep in your heart.  The one person who is supposed to love you and protect you walks away, it can cause a fear that is overpowering.  Maybe something has happened in your life to cause that gut wrenching fear - fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, fear of failure.  I just want to be me. What does that look like?  Who am I?  Am I what I tell myself in those quiet moments when I'm alone?  Just a mom, just a girl from small town Indiana, just a divorcee, just a paralegal.  Or do I tell myself I'm brave, I'm loved, I'm accepted, I'm gifted, I'm talented.  This song is my ...

Do you trust God?  Do you believe he knows what he's doing?  There are times in my life when I felt like He was indifferent...or even absent all together.  I look back now on those times and can see His hand in the situation, but when I'm in the middle of it, I feel like He has abandoned me.  He didn't abandon me, I lost faith and trust in Him.  I was the one who left, not Him. Do you know what I mean?  Have you ever been there? When I went through my divorce in 2001, it was a very lonely time for me.  People in the church that I attended pointed fingers at me, were angry at me and very judgmental.  I felt even a little bit of disconnect from my family.  The life I was supposed to have lived was now ending and I was beginning a new chapter.  I had 2 small children to take care of, I was alone and I lost my church family.  That first summer after my divorce was a blur...I tried to find acceptance in new friendships and in the p...

Watch this video - it tells the story of the writer of the song "It is Well with my soul".  As I listened to this, I was brought to tears.  This man lost everything!  Everything...yet wrote a song that spoke of God's peace in his soul.   During this Holiday season, when someone says "Peace be with you", what does that mean to you? Have you ever really stopped and thought about God's peace?   In the Bible, he references his peace like a river.  Well, rivers can be calm and soothing, but they can also be wild and rapid!!  Have you ever thought of  peace in a wild and crazy life?  Does it even seem possible?  With God, it is.  In my study this morning, I read several verses in Isaiah about Gods peace.  The one that really stood out to me was Isaiah 48:17-18      "This is what the Lord says - your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel:  "I am the Lord your God,     who teaches you wh...

Satisfied...what does that mean to you? Think about that word and consider what would make you satisfied:  Food? Water? Clothes? Riches? Love?  Are you ever truly satisfied?  Answer honestly.  As I ponder this thought, I wonder if I am satisfied.  Am I satisfied with the life God has given me? Am I satisfied with the way things turned out or did I have a different plan? We all dream as children of things we want to do, places we want to go, having a family and someone to love us - you know, the white picket fence, 2.5 kids (how does that happen??), dog, good job.  We envision this life and think that is what will satisfy us.  But, those are all just things.  Things that can be removed, taken away, destroyed, lost.  What do you do then? When all that is left is a hole that needs to be filled? In Isaiah 55:2 its says "Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is go...

Bondage is a horrible thing to live in.  Feeling chained down. Broken.  Disconnected. Hurt. Sad. Lonely. Misunderstood. Unforgiven. Unworthy.  Invisible. This time of year is a time when we celebrate the birth of our savior.  The Messiah who came to free us from our bondage.  But, when you are chained down, its hard to lift your head and feel set free.   Jesus said in John 8:34 "I tell you the truth, everyone who sins is a slave to sin".  Well, thanks Jesus... that's comforting to know!  But, we know its true.  We say something mean to someone, or we do something that disappoints another, we live in that feeling.  When we sit at home alone feeling sorry for ourselves because we are tired and alone, we are living in our sin.  We are chained and broken.  As a slave we have no permanent family, but a son or daughter does.  So, Jesus didn't stop at verse 34.  No, read on, there is hope!! John 8:36 "So if the son ...