Just Me....


As I was driving into work this morning, I was listening to the radio and the song by Laura Story "I Can Just Be Me" came on.  I've heard it before, but today I really listened to the lyrics and they really spoke to me.  For most of my life I've tried to be the person people would accept.  When as a little girl your daddy leaves you, it can tear something down deep in your heart.  The one person who is supposed to love you and protect you walks away, it can cause a fear that is overpowering.  Maybe something has happened in your life to cause that gut wrenching fear - fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, fear of failure.  I just want to be me.

What does that look like?  Who am I?  Am I what I tell myself in those quiet moments when I'm alone?  Just a mom, just a girl from small town Indiana, just a divorcee, just a paralegal.  Or do I tell myself I'm brave, I'm loved, I'm accepted, I'm gifted, I'm talented.  This song is my hearts cry to God when I want to tear myself down with my own words -  "I've been doing all that I can to hold it all together, piece by piece"...
Have you ever felt that way?  Ever felt that if one more thing goes wrong, or you get disappointed by someone ONE MORE TIME, you are going to break into a thousand pieces?    Jesus went through all the pain of rejection and disappointment that we go through. When you feel that way cry out to Him "Be my healer, be my comfort, be my peace".  

The verse at the end of the song that really speaks to me says "cause I'm so tired of trying to be someone I was never meant to be".  Living in this broken and shattered world causes us to do this at times, don't you think?  We try to be who others want us to be in order to feel that love and acceptance.  Yet, when we are alone, we cry out wishing they would accept us for who we truly are.   Broken sinners who get it wrong more times than we get it right.  Loved in spite of our failures.  Treasured because we are his sons and daughters.   This is my vow to myself for the coming year - to be me.  To be who God wants me to be, who God says I am.  To accept others for who they are and to love them in spite of their failures.  Because we all fail.  We are all needy and broken.  So "Be my God so I can just be me"...

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